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Friday, May 30, 2003
Finally I can post!
Its been really hard to just be able and sit down next to the computer and post lately. So I must apologize to all you readers out there (if there are any) and say that things may be shaky in the next 2 weeks since I have finals comin up. I'll do my best to post as much as possible. And now, on to the post...
Nothing like a 42 year old woman telling you that she'd date you if only you were old enough. Yep, that ranks pretty high in my "OMG, Why Me?" List. Jeremy's mom's friend of whose name I will not mention has told me that she would date me, only thing is, I'm not old enough. Of course, my reasons for not dating her are much more defined and lengthy. Lets go over a few, shall we?
Rules of Engagement (or engaging into relationships)
1. You gotta be in my age group. I think 20 years older is just a bit much, neh?
2. You have to be somewhat intelligent, or have the mental capacity to have intelligent conversation. That's a biggie. I dont want to be dating someone where it'd be like I was talking to a brick wall, no matter how pretty that brick wall may be.
3. I will not encourage someone else's infatuation with me if I do not feel the same way about them because in the end, it only ends up hurting me and whoever else it may be. I dont want to regret ever encouraging someone who may have feelings for me to keep having them when in the end, all will be wasted and they'll hate me for the rest of my life.
And so on and so forth. Yeah, I think there should be a law against people 20 years older than the person flirting with you. Hmm, can we say, capitol offense?
Now Playing - "Foo Fighters - Times Like These"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:09 PM
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Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Another round of poetry
Tonight was another writing night and I decided to write this poem in reference to the quote above. I was inspired by a conversation I was having with a friend and so began to write it. Make what you want of it, I'm sure it has many different meanings to all of us. Well here it is, and good night.
Reality's Perception
By Ryan Bach
Reality is only what you know
What you see, where you go
Why it happens and how its done
Times of sadness, times of fun
All of these things are how its described
For this is where reality is truly derived
Reality is seen through one perception
Yet no one knows its true conception
What we see is what we find
This reality stays real within our mind
But we have yet to know what is real
For no one has ever lifted its seal
Reality is protected by the keeper of the gate
And no one will be able to unlock their own fate
For fate is not in the hands of those who are not connected
For when they walk up to the gatekeeper, they will surely be rejected
So who holds the power to open such a gate?
Who has the power to twist someone’s fate?
Altering their reality, making a change
How will they adapt if their lives are rearranged?
Will they change, or will they forever be lost
Being left behind, only to see the endless cost
Always looking forward, they’ll never go back
Slowly and endlessly forward, by now they’ve lost tract
They’ll never remember, even if they try
For it was forever erased from their mind’s eye
So they go endlessly on
Forgetting of memories long gone
For they are truly blinded by illusion
Never able to come to the conclusion
Of what their life once was
But they will always know its because
The only truth in reality’s perception
It is the only thing known for its deception
Now Playing - "OC Remix - Maestrodeclure - Rachel's Gift"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:09 PM
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All good things must come to an end
That was quite the weekend I had. As you all know I am still grounded til the end of school, which is in 3 weeks I might add, and so this weekend I played WarCraft 3 all day Saturday since I am allowed weekends. After that glorious day of battles, I went to church Sunday morning, and tried to go ice skating with Sarah, but after going to two ice rinks and finding out that there were stupid hockey games about to take place, we called it a day and so I went back to Jeremy's house, ended up spending the night, and then went to his sister's dance championships the next morning. Her group got first place on their first dance, and she got second place on her dancing overall. It was cool to go and watch this, but as I was watching some of the other dancers, I had began to wonder when I started seeing 6-9 year olds dancing like a slutty high school cheerleaders. What is it that we are teaching kids these days? I mean, honestly, do we need to be teaching kids how to dance this way. *All the horny teenage guys start drooling and shaking their heads 'yes' in a stupor* I dont think this is what dancing was intended to be. Dancing is a way unleashing the power and feeling of music through the movement of the body. Which explains a lot of the music and dancing nowadays. It just surprises me that someone would teach a kid this stuff at such an early age. Makes no sense to me.
On a lighter note, I'm glad to be on the home stretch for school, finals are coming up, and classes are beginning to show movies. Woohoo! ^_^
Now Playing - "Final Fantasy IX OST - The Dark Messenger"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:15 PM
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Friday, May 23, 2003
Thank God its Friday!
Yes! I've made it, and my gaming withdrawals will be satisfied! CounterStrike here I come!
(3 hours later after a huge time of ultimate gaming)
Phew....got that outta my system. Ok, now to post something worth reading. Umm...ok, this'll do.
Have you ever realized when someone you know acts one way around you, then a completely different way around more friends? Well this is a normal thing a person will do depending on the people they are with. They may act more 'down to earth' around you, and then when more friends are around, they will act like the craziest person you will know. This is because everyone wears their different masks in front of people. If they are accepted by acting one way around a certain person or group, they will act that way everytime they are around them, whereas when with someone else, they will change their behavior to the one that is currently accepted by that person. It is a good thing to have all of these "masks" because it makes you the unique person you are. You are able to change yourself with the constantly changing environment around you, able to change your behavior whenever new people enter the scene. So if someone tells you not to be a certain way, not to be "different". Tell them you are only being yourself. Well that'll have to do for today, kids. I think I've confused you enough on this mumbo jumbo.
Now Playing - "OC Remix - NoppZ - Jammin' Loneliness"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 6:43 PM
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Thursday, May 22, 2003
Mother's are so weird
Well I had quite the interesting conversation with my mother the other night when I got back from Cell group and it goes as follows.
Ryan:"Hey Mom! I'm home."
Mom:"Hey Ryan, welcome home. Have you eaten dinner?"
Ryan"Nah, I'm not that hungry tonight."
Mom:"Ryan?"
Ryan:"Yes?"
Mom:"Are you using drugs?"
Ryan:"What?!?! No! Why would you ask such a thing?"
Mom:"Drugs make you not want to eat. Besides it's my job to know. I'm your mother. Why aren't you eating?"
Ryan:"Mom, I'm not on drugs. I can't believe you would ask me."
Mom:"You should ask your brother how many times I asked him."
(Which makes me bring up the fact that my brother was considered the weird/crazy/messed up one but he came out alright in the end)
Ryan:"I just got back from cell group, I've had my fill of junk food tonight."
Mom:"You shouldnt eat junk food. It's not good for you. You need to have some protein."
Ryan:"I dont have time to sit and nit pick at every detail such as proteins, carbohydrates, and such. I just eat whatever satisfies my appetite and I go on with my day. Would it make you feel better if I had some chinese food?"
Mom:"Yes."
Ryan:"Fine, I'll fix up a plate for myself."
Mom:"Good."
And so ends the brutal conversation between me and my worried mother. I can't believe she asked if I was on drugs. She should know my views on that stuff. Especially since she knows I'm a Christian and I dont get into that type of stuff. Eh, could be the Sublime I listen to, who knows?
Now Playing - "The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 4:58 PM
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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Storytime
Well kids, I felt that I needed to tell a story tonight for whatever reasons they may be, I really dont know, but what the hell, sometimes you just gotta do what your Brain tells ya.
Brain: "Damn straight!"
And so it begins...There was this person who lived in a city, who went to school regularly, and led life to their best everyday of their life, until recently when a close relationship was broken. This wasnt something really new to him. It had happened quite a few times before, but after this last breakup, it was a wakeup call to him. He wondered, why is it that this happens to me all the time? Was it me? Was it something that I've done all along that I haven't noticed? He went on throughout the week trying to figure out what it was that was making relationships so hard to keep. He had been told by each girl he fell in love with that the problem was with his reactions to everyday life and its various problems. Why can't they understand what I'm dealing with, he thought? Why is it that no one can really help me with my life, truly understanding how to help me deal with it? He looked back into his past, looking at each of the faces of whom he had once loved, and as each memory flowed through his mind, he remembered how each and every one had told him that it was over.
"You've just got too many issues."
"Hey, let me know when you've got your problems fixed, and maybe I'll consider getting back with you."
"I dont have time to deal with your mess."
These were the memories that hit him hardest. How in every situation he was very close with the girl, and in an instant, it was over, because they didnt want to help him with his problems in life. Maybe its not me, he thought. Would someone who loves me cast me away to the world to be swallowed up so quickly? Not even trying to help me. A certain confidence began to arise in his heart. He began to realize what his real problem was. He wasnt finding the girls who truly "loved" him, but more or less found the people who accepted his love, and used it to their advantage. I may have to go at life alone for awhile, he thought, but I know I can get through this. "She" is out there. Once his confidence was placed into that one thought, he went on with his life, sure to find the right one, sure to find someone who would care for him, and be there for him when times were tough. That is true love, he thought.
The End
Now Playing - "Jim's Big Ego - Prince Charming"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:19 PM
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Tuesday, May 20, 2003
New Art Project
Not much to report today other than I'm getting ready to go to a volleyball game at my friend's school. I've started another project in art that seems to be pretty neat. I can't wait to get it finished. It's basically some artwork using a Kaleidascope (Man that word is killer, close enough to the correct spelling) effect. I think mine turns out to be a pretty cool looking owl-like face. At least that's what I intended it to become, but art is a funny thing. You always end up getting something completely different from what you originally wanted, whether it be bad or good. Other than that, nothing much going on with me. See ya later, kids.
Now Playing - "Sum 41 - Hell Song"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:06 PM
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Monday, May 19, 2003
Poetry Corner
I just wrote this up tonight so its a bit sketchy, but I think its good enough to post. Enjoy.
Life in the Boat
By Ryan Bach
Here you come with all your pain
Lay it all on me, it feels like pouring rain
It burns my wounds like acid
These things you say aren’t so placid
So as I try to help you out
While you still cry and shout
About how lonely you feel
And how the pain is real
But didn’t you ever stop to wonder
What pressure you’ve put me under?
How much you’ve added to my shame
Just making me feel all the more lame
Never able to get the chance
Not one relationship to enhance
Into something that is much more
With someone that I really adore
But why should I expect that of you?
When all you want if for me to help you through
Put my problems aside to help you out
So I don’t have to listen to you pout
So once you’ve gone and left the boat
I have to help myself stay afloat
Maybe one day she’ll throw me a line
And that’ll be the day when all will be fine
When I can hear how beautiful her voice sings
As she stands there under angel’s wings
Holding my breath as she passes by
I’ll never know if I should try
To start something I haven’t done
I wonder if it will be more pain than fun
But I know it can’t be wrong
Just one tone from this angel’s song
Puts a feeling deep inside my heart
I’ll do better this time, if I’m smart
This love I have inside for you
I just know that it has to be true
So open this door in front of me
And all will be well, you’ll see
So once you have opened the gate
I will surely know that it was our fate
Now Playing - "Moby - Porcelain"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:09 PM
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Conspiracy Theory
You ever get that feeling where you think that your teachers conspire against you to give you all the homework on night of the week? Well I swear my teachers do it. I haven't been able to prove it yet, but I know they do it. So anyway, that's pretty much all I've been doing since I got off of work today, but I know the day will come where I can burn all of my homework into one huge ash heep at the beach. And that day is June 13. Yes. On that day, I will gather all that has caused me pain and suffering throughout the countless weeks of my journey for intelligence and I will cast it into the blazing furnace of the beach firepits. Homework! Your days are numbered!
Oh yeah, I found out that it was not Winamp that was corrupting the sound card, but it was the fact that someone was messing with my Equalizer settings and screwed it up. Once I find out who it was, I'll skin 'em alive for making me say such hurtful things to a computer that already doesnt like me.
Now Playing - "E-Type - Set The World On Fire"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:28 PM
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Sunday, May 18, 2003
A little chat with Brain
(You may notice the similarity of the Brain/Ryan Conversation with that of Sean but he said I could use it so HA! )
Ryan:"Why is it that people can be so naive about the most important things in life?"
Brain:"What do you mean?"
Ryan:"Well I mean, there's this girl who claimed she was pregnant and so she was really, really depressed about the mistake she had made."
Brain:"Sounds pretty serious, how old is she?"
Ryan:"She's barely 15. That's why I try to figure out, why in the world would someone so young go that far with someone?"
Brain:"Who knows, some people just dont realize the stupidity in their actions until after they've commited the action."
Ryan:"Yeah, but what gets me is that she doesnt completely blame herself for getting pregnant because she used "protection". I mean honestly, doesn't she realize that Life finds a way even when you dont want it to?"
Brain:"Some people truly believe that "ignorance is bliss". Sad to say, that she falls within this group. Yeah, people need to realize that the best protection from becoming pregnant is to not engage in sex at all. Abstenance is the only sure way not to get pregnant. People have made sex something less meaningful than it used to be, nowadays. They've abused the privelage to express there love to another person the way God intended it to be."
Ryan:"Yeah, people need to understand that its not just some "casual" thing. It wasnt meant to be given to everyone, but to only one special person that you love. In my opinion, this gift can only be given within a marriage, that way your relationship isnt based off of the sex you get, but instead, it is based off of the love you have for each other."
Brain:"Man, you really do think about this stuff a lot don't you?"
Ryan:"Nah, I just pull a lot of this stuff outta my ass."
Brain:"Well then, you've got quite a smart ass. Hmm, almost as smart as I am."
Ryan:"Thanks."
Now Playing - "DC Talk - Say the Words (Now Remix)"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 12:20 AM
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Friday, May 16, 2003
Life is such a fragile thing.
Well I must apologize for not posting the past 2 days, kids. I had meant to post last night but I had my Aunt Jenny over with her husband and my cousin Jenna. Anyway, where do I start? Well I got to see The Matrix: Reloaded and I highly recommend this movie. Although the cliff-hanger ending didnt quite appeal to me since it took 'em 3 years just to get Reloaded out to theatres, but well worth the wait. So anyway I didnt get to bed til like 2am the next day and so I went through school pretty tired. After school I had scheduled with my buddy Sean to go ride to church. So I ended up going to the shop to pick up my bike from getting a tune-up and my mom drove me to Sean's house. Once there, we prepared for departure. We rode down to Starbucks and got some frapuccino's and then left from there and got down about 3 streets and then "the jeep" was there. Yes folks, if you've figured out why I'm rambling senselessly about biking, I was hit by a car yesterday. The woman who was driving "the jeep" wasnt watching where the hell she was going and so she was pulling up to enter the street from a Wendy's Drive Thru. According to Sean she never looked "both ways" but she had stopped so I decided to try and go around her, but to my surprise, she didnt have a clue that I was there so she started to let off the brake and go into the street. At about this point in time, I'm yelling at her trying to get her attention, which I did, and was thrown into the street off of my bike. I get up and grab my bike from under "the jeep" and rush back onto the sidewalk, and then I crashed to the ground in agonizing pain. I realized that my arm was hurting, and right about this time, Sean's about ready to tell this woman that's she's an incompetent driver and fool (I wrote that for you, bud). So the woman got me over to an emergency room and had me checked out. They said that my shoulder would be pretty bruised and so they told me to take da painkillerz for awhile. And so now I'm here typing this up for you guys to understand why you've missed 2 days of posts. Oh yeah, my Aunt Jenny came over and it was nice to see them. They're the "southern" part of my family, which is cool, because I just love the accent. Anyway, give me a holla at my email if you want to. I enjoy reading your thoughts. You can reach me at rbach@pce2000.com Later peops.
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 2:46 PM
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Tuesday, May 13, 2003
Curse you Winamp!
Got a few wise words for ya guys and it goes like this:
"Watch your thoughts,
Because they become your words.
Watch your words,
Because they become your actions.
Watch your actions,
Because they become your character.
Watch your character,
Because it becomes your destiny.
Good words to live by, anyway, I never thought I'd see the day where I'd curse Winamp, but its good news to see that it wasnt my sound card at all. Surprisingly it was Winamp 2 that was tweaking up the sound of the music. I was shocked because I had been using Winamp for a year now without any problems whatsoever. So now I'm using Windows Media Player instead until I can debug this problem with Winamp. So yeah, I'm a bit happy to know my computer isnt planning to commit sepuku any time soon. But then again I could be wro...................
Now Playing - "Dialated Peoples - Turntablism"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 7:03 PM
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New computer here I come
Yep, I've been wanting to get a new computer for quite awhile. My computer has been slowly telling me "I hate you!" ever since my 19" monitor wigged out and I had to get another monitor, and now the sound card. So yeah, I'm pretty upset, but I guess this just gives me more reason to get a new computer. So I had my step-dad send my specs to one of his contacts so that I can get a good deal for 1337 computer. Yes folks, my crappy computer days are numbered. Just dont be surprised when I'm missing an arm and a leg the next time you see me. Anyway, I found something you guys might all enjoy (assuming you all hate Saddam Hussein). So here's the URL
I'm the Real Saddam
Now Playing - "Pounding my head on the wall while cursing at my sound card!"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 4:29 PM
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I can't catch a friggin' break!
Well yep, my CD player is messed up so I have to take it apart and attempt to fix it. And now that I'm home, I get to find out that my sound card on my PC is fried. Oh yeah, I'm limitted to games only on weekends, but as if that matters now, I can't even hear what the hell I'm doing! God, I really need a new computer, you mind sending me a top of the line compy in the mail? Or at least money for it. I'm like halfway to the computer of my dreams, its a possibility that I could have it within the next two paychecks. Of course I could've possibly had it by now if it wasn't for all my stuff breaking down. Was I meant to suffer this way?
I've been really bored lately and so if you'd like to talk to me I'd be delighted to read what you have to say. My email is rbach@pce2000.com and so I hope to hear from you.
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 2:31 PM
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Monday, May 12, 2003
What's in a Friend?
Well what do you do when you hear that your best friend for the past 3 years is talking shit behind your back? And yet, how can one ask you to stop being friends with your best friend? It has come to my attention that my best friend Jeremy was talking shit behind my back when he was dating my friend Liz. He had been doing it since they were dating. They are no longer dating because of Liz's own reasons and she has been telling me that I shouldn't hang out with Jeremy anymore. When Jeremy and I are hanging out together he says a lot of demeaning stuff to me to my face, always in a jokingly manner, and I'd return with a joke or two of my own about him. When we say stuff to each other its usually just banter, but there are times where I think he's gone over the line to make himself look better at the expense of myself. So Liz asked me one question and I honestly didnt have an answer to it. That question was, "Why do you put up with the crap that he says about you?" Even now I have a hard time trying to answer it, the only thing I can say is that I've grown to ignore insults. Ever since elementry school, I've been the outcast, only banding up with a few acquaintances whenever I changed schools. During those times, even the best of friends I had then, teased and ridiculed me. All my school life, I've only known how to cope with the pain of being alone all my life. So whenever someone was to talk badly about me, I wouldnt even give notice that they had said something to me at all, I'd just continue doing what I was doing. And so now in high school, ever since freshman year, I've grown a friendship between Jeremy and I. We'd start hanging out together around late sophomore year, but during the first two years, it was all just getting to know each other and now we are hanging out pretty much every other week or so. Of course, I'd be the butt of quite a few jokes early on, but there was a respect built up later in the years as I ignored their rants, slamming them down with mine every once in awhile if I didnt feel like taking it. But now that I've been told I deserve better than the slams I get, it gets me to thinking that maybe I have put up with the crap way too long. Well anyway, I'm gonna have a talk with my friend Jeremy and get this cleared up. As far as dumping as a friend wholly, I doubt its gonna happen, but it definitely makes me realize who's worth hanging out and with and who's not. And Liz, I respect you telling me that I deserve better than to be treated that way, but please dont think of me as a lower person just because I was blind to what was really happening. Thanks for opening my eyes, and I apologize for upsetting you. You are truly a great and rare friend.
Now Playing - "Jim's Big Ego - After The Tornado"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:21 PM
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Sunday, May 11, 2003
It's Mother's Day
Ahh, the wonders of submitting your life to make your mother happy for one day out of the year (besides her birthday obviously). For those of you who were not bright enough to get your mother a present (or remember that is was today, for that matter), I suggest you rush down to your closest Hallmark Store, get a card, and a nice looking gift, lest you wish to suffer your mother's wrath. It is written in the Bible, "Hell hath no fury like a mother's scorn" and trust me, you dont want to feel the wrath of your mother, on this day of all days. So all you kids out there better be nice to your mothers today. They deserve it since they've dealt with all your crap throughout the year and so I think that being nice to them and doing what they want you to do is a nice gift in itself. So put on your smiles and be nice to your mother, because your health depends on it so much. I hope all of you, as well as myself, make it through this hectic day with no problems. Good luck and Godspeed!
Not much else I can say except that stress always seems to follow me where ever I go. My Health teacher has set up an appointment with my mother so that they can discuss grades and because most teachers portray students as being bums who dont do work, I'll never hear the end of it and I'll be grounded for the rest of the year. That's if my mother feels angry enough about it. To be honest, Health class doesnt do anything for me, I learn nothing, I'm only brainwashed to become a drug-free, alcohol hating, non-smoking, nutrition freak. That's cool and all, but its nothing I haven't heard or seen before especially since all the class informative videos come from the 80's (the book too). Things have changed in 20 years I would think. So ends my rant on my health class.
Now Playing - "Lynard Skynard - Freebird"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 4:12 PM
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Saturday, May 10, 2003
Just Chillin'
Note to self: "Never sleep in a recliner without a leg rest and a really warm blanket, because you'll wake up so cold you shiver like you're having convulsions."
Yes, kids, my back hurts like the Dickens and I'm really quite tired today, all because we fell asleep around 1:30am and got up around 6:30am. God only knows why we got up so early, but all in all, it was a really nice sleepover. I ended up talking to Rico's dad for about 2 hours last night about beliefs through a Jewish point of view and a Christian point of view. It was really nice to have an intelligent conversation about that stuff, although I must admit, the argument was a bit one-sided, but I guess that was because he knew more than I did. He really challenged my way of thinking, and so it was a nice wake up in my faith. After that, the rest of us decided to watch Monty Python and the Search For the Holy Grail. This is by far the best British intentionally cheesy movie I have seen. Good stuffs, kids. All in all, I had a great time at Josh's house. Its nice to see all of my church friends and get to know them a bit more. If I remember correctly, we ended up talking this morning about hicks in our family and how they acted. Come to think of it, the only people who even come close "hickdom" would be my Uncle Buzzy. Haven't seen him in years.
Intelligent Corner: When does one realize when all is lost, and all was for naught? How is it that you can feel so good about something, and by hearing or reading one thing, lose all good perspectives on it? Lots of things in life happen like this, and life goes endlessly on, whether you want it to or not. Life does not wait for you to make up your mind, on the contrary, it could care less. The only thing you can do is hope for the best. Yet, hope is only half of the fight, you need the will to carry out your hopes, but after doing all of this, to see it crushed right before your eyes, your soul is weakened. What if the defeat is all an illusion though, and in fact, it is possible. Maybe it's because in our minds, defeat is more common to us then victory. We always assume defeat because to assume victory so early is cocky, but in a way, assuming defeat so early is foolish as well. So I guess the answer to my own questions is, "Go with the flow, or let it go." But dont let go too early, or you may regret it.
Well you might notice a new link to the left, and by clicking on that, you will reach the lovely Liz and her Naked Lounge. Check it out.
Now Playing - "Blind Melon - No Rain"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 7:59 PM
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Friday, May 09, 2003
School sucks
Well the heading here pretty much explains it. I got home from youth church last night to talk with my mom, then she whipped out a piece of folded paper, and I knew it could only mean one thing. Bad grades. Yes, of all things that could've happened on this glorious night, I get to find out that I still have a D in Health. Yeah, so after about a half hour trying to explain to my mother why it was that way, I ended up losing video games privelages until this gets settled. Of all the classes I had to bring the grades up on, this class was the hardest. Since whenever he gave out homework, he was never really clear on the day that it would be due. So anyway, I ended up talking to him about it and found out that I would be getting a C in the class soon. So once I heard this lovely information, I immediately gave him my mother's e-mail address so that I would have a possible chance of having my vid gaming privelages back sooner. Being the introvert that I am, the only way I can deal with anger or just have a good time is shooting some n00bs on CounterStrike (and soon to be Tribes 2) or defeating an enemy fleet on Homeworld. Yes, I get my jollies outta putting the beat down on people playing games, I mean, who doesnt? So in order to keep myself from going insane from my withdrawals I'll be hanging out at Josh's house tonight with a few other people from church. I was a bit upset about Sean not wanting to go, but I guess he's needs to catch up on some sleep. Yeah, I guess the plan is that we're gonna go see X-Men 2 (even though I've already seen it, loved it nonetheless) and then we'll go back to Josh's, hang out for a bit, then crash.
Oh yeah, because I've been soooooo lazy, I've gotta finally set up an appointment with the DMV for my Driver's Liscence today. I'm hoping they have a website for that, because I'm not gonna wait on the phone for 2 hours just to talk to a human. I can't wait to get my liscence, I'm tired of bein' lugged around by all my friend, I know that can be quite the burden. Anyway, I think this song pretty much goes with the post today. Gotta love dose Beastie Boys.
Now Playing - "Beastie Boys - Fight For Your Right To Party"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 2:11 PM
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Thursday, May 08, 2003
Death to those who are deserving of it
Yet another day of extra sleep from my first and second period classes. Thanks teachers for being the most boring people in the world, it means so much to me! Anyway, I guess there's not much new to me other than the fact that I'm gonna go to church like I usually do on Thursdays for Youth Church. I'm da man with da plan to make coffee for da peoplez. I run the Cafe` that we have open just before church starts for about an hour, since people dont show up much earlier than that. That aside, today was pretty much a slow day. It took forever just to get through my History class today. I realized that despite all the protests in the 70's, that era is completely boring to me. They had their own confused world during that time, and I have no urge whatsoever to try and understand it. As the Beatles said right before they broke up, "Let it be", and I have. Oh yeah, my art class has been going pretty well. I just got done with yet another drawing. It was of five hands all interacting and so it was pretty cool. My upcoming project is a symetrical drawing of a person's head. Looks much better than it sounds.
On another note, we had a debate in my english class today and the topic was "Should we abolish the death penalty?" This is a really touchy subject, but I had come to the conclusion that we should keep the death penalty, we just need to modify it. First of all, I dont think lethal injection or gas chambers cause the murderer any suffering since he/she falls asleep before death occurs. This has gotta stop. I think they should give the accused and tried person 20 years to think about what he/she did (or if innocent, gives a buffer zone of time to find new evidence to prove innocence) and then they should be should then be put on Death Row. I'm sorry guys, but I think that Lethal Injection is a pansy ass way of punishing someone since they just simply shut down the body, like turning off a computer that's caused the spread of viruses. My solution, depending on the case (I'm assuming now that he/she is a coldblooded killer), I think they should get the snot beat out of them, then taken out and shot. That is true punishment, my friends. It may not be pretty, but they are deserving of it. Anyway, that's my whole view on the Death Penalty. I just think they seriously need to revise the whole system and thats how I would run it.
Now Playing - "Moby - Natural Blues"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:51 PM
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Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Boredom is all in the mind
Well I went to school this morning, slept through first period because my teacher is stupid enough to leave the class for most of the class time. Woke up, walked to my second period class, took a stupid Vietnam War Exam. I ended up finishing it first, then got some more sleep for the rest of the period. At about this time I realized that I was really tired. I dunno what it is about teacher's nowadays, but they give no effort whatsoever to make a class enjoyable. If anything they try to make it as miserable as possible. Maybe its because the teachers have been teaching for so long that the hate teenagers with a passion, and so they try to make it painful for us to go through one day of school. Who knows?
So now that I'm home, I've got to deal with the crap that the teachers were so kind as to give me. Algebra 2 homework, for instance. My Algebra 2 teacher just loves to give us a nice buttload of problems from our algebra book every night. Which is what I'm having so much doing right now. What gets me though, is this one conversation I had with my teacher, and it goes as follows.
Ryan: "Um, I know how to do logirithms and all, but in the world does it do?"
Mrs. Ziller: "Oh you dont have to worry about that. Just do your problems."
Ryan: "But what does it do?"
Mrs. Ziller: "Dont worry about it. Just do your work."
Ryan: "What's the point of doing it if I dont even know what it does?"
Mrs. Ziller: "Ryan, dont bother me about it. Read your book if you'd like to know."
Ryan: "Ok, whatever."
And after this, it amazed me to see how teachers are so used to teaching it, but not explaining it. They get so caught up on the forumlas and such, they never realize that "hey, we're learning this garbage for the first time in our lives, it might help us if you give us a reason to learn it in the first place"! Because if we have no good reason to learn it, we'll forget it, or more likely not pay any attention to it whatsoever. Anyway, I just think that teachers need to make classrooms a bit more entertaining and not so glum; they should even tell us why we're learning what we are. That might help a lot. Peace out people.
Now Playing - "AC/DC - Thunderstruck"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 3:11 PM
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Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Secret Agent Man
Oh yeah, I've had my fill of laughter today. After getting home from school I ended up working today for the first time in 4 days of no working so I'm glad the cash will start flowing again. Anyway, I ended up impersonating a hot chick from Orange County today (on AIM, mind you) and the guy I was talking to totally bought it and we ended up talking for a good half hour, I had to end the conversation because of my stupid health homework, but I just couldnt believe how gullible this guy really is. I mean, I ended up calling him "mr. sexy man". Anyway, he thinks I'm "Sara" from OC, with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes and 19 years of age. I dunno, I've never impersonated the opposite sex while typing and so this was quite the trip. I never did tell him I was who I was because I left it open for my friend to finish it. She had wanted me to mess with her friend's mind and so I think I did a good job. The guy ended up being 18 from San Diego, not goin to college, doesnt know a career to start, and is obviously gonna end up working at a fast-food joint for the next 5 years until he realizes what he wants to do. It's saddening though, to see that a guy can be seduced so easily (and from a guy doing it too, for that matter). I guess my friend'll end up toying with his mind even more since it was her SN originally. Yep, I am definitely da Secret Agent Man.
Now Playing - "Creadence Clearwater Revival - Midnight Special"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 6:17 PM
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Monday, May 05, 2003
Monday, Monday. Can't trust that day!
Well kids, its been a long hard day at school and I'm about this close *holds finger and thumb close together* to strangling my History teacher for being so boring, but besides that, through and through, its been an OK day. A few things crossed my mind as I preservered through the day at school. One thing is, dont drink Coca-Cola right before you sleep, nasty morning breath when you wake up. Another thing is, no matter how much you tell yourself that the weekend is meant for a time of rest, you're more than likely going to end up getting no sleep whatsoever.
On another note, I have one of the most contradicting quotes from none other than the man of "scum" as Sean would say it and here it is. "If you're going to date her, dont date her..." Now will someone tell me what in the hell does that mean? Oh and I dont think I'll be following that lovely advice from my good friend Jeremy. Sorry buddy, lemme know when you can tell me something intelligible. I love ya man, but come on, you just dont make sense sometimes, neh?
Now Playing - "OC Remix - Ceracryst - Final Fantasy VII - Heart's Anxiety"
You can get OC Remix music here
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 2:33 PM
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Sunday, May 04, 2003
Sean's notes on self-destructive perception.Here's a simple truth;
if you want to be happy, you will be happy..
if you want to be sad, you'll be sad...
if you want to feel like a million bucks, then you will, if you want to feel like you're worthless.. then you will.
If you want to live, then you will,
If you want to die, then you will,
If you want to be sucessful, then you will, if you want to fail to get attention.. then you will..
And in this day and age, it is so easy to be the one to ruin your own life...
Wether through drugs, suicide.. or the slow poisoning of ones mind though self perception and seperation from others, which then leads to sorrow and self destruction.
Just stay positive and life wont seem so bad, neh?
Current Music : 'O Brother where art thou?' OST - O'Death
Posted by Sean .xXx. 7:13 PM
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Perception of Reality
Well guys, over the past few days I 've noticed that people have their own preconceived ideas about what is going to happen. What one person may perceive as reality, another person notices it as a complete fantasy. For instance, a man falls in love with a girl and everything that they do together shows him even more that he may have a chance with her. This is the reality that the man sees, however, it is quite different from the girl's point of view. What she's done is out of nature, out of habit. She naturally treats him like she's interested in him. To her, she's just being a nice friend as she can be, and so his chances with her are just an illusion. This gap of reality perception is also seen between parents and their children (usually in their teens). Whether its because their brains go through some phase that makes them feel all "high and mighty" or some freak thing that happens to their genes when their kids get into their teens, parents feel that what they say is law, no matter if its right or not or how stupid it really is. Now I know that they say its for our own good, but come on!
Mother says, "You think you can just go out and do stuff on the weekend? You've got another thing coming!"
I say, "Well you wont let me do anything during the week, besides go to church."
Mother says, "That's because you have school, and since its the weekend now, you have to help take care of things."
I say, "How is there anything that needs to take care of during the week!?!? What havent I not already done during the week?"
And right about now my mother pulls a huge list of things she'd like me to do that is about 20 pages long. There's always the "because I'm the parent" excuse I've heard oh so many times and I think the right to a parent's authority is abused to the extent where I realize the stupidity in their "laws". Truly the perception of reality through a parents eyes is distorted once their kids hit their teen years.
Now Playing - "Dido - Thank You"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 3:03 PM
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Friday, May 02, 2003
The Beginning
Testing...is this thing on? Well its quite the trip to remember my HTML all over again. Blogger's got a different way of doing things that I am not used to soooo you'll have to bear with me til I get the hang of this. Anyway, the reason for this site to come up outta nowhere was because I have been inspired by Sarah and Sean. That's right! (Thanks guys!) After reading what they've typed up, I've had this feeling that I need to express myself, and in order to do that, I've made this site. Just a forwarning though kiddies, you may not like all that is written here, so for legal junk, "Parental Discretion Is Advised" You can come here as often as you'd like, just keep in mind that I will be changing this template soon once I get it more personalized. It'll be quite awhile til I get something that I like working, hopefully Sean would be so kind as to help me out on this. That's pretty much it guys.
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 11:04 PM
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All writings, poems, and rants are Copyright © Ryan Bach. If you want to use my writings, contact me first!
