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Sunday, February 29, 2004
Fixin' Again
After yesterday's long and hard work, the POS-NOS is now fixed and working again. We ended up changing the fuel pump on it, which required us to drag out the fuel tank from underneath the van. Working with gas everywhere makes you a bit nervous because at any moment, if some spark came out of nowhere, the fuel tank could explode....killing us all instantly. But that obviously didn't happen since I'm here writing this to all of you now. Anyhow, it took us about 6 hours to fix this thing. Not like any of us has an engineering degree. And the car manual? What a grand help that came to be since it didn't even address the problem that I had. So we were pretty much running into this thing with little knowledge, but alas, we prevailed. The van is fixed, and I no longer need to hitch rides again. Thank God.
Today, I'll be hanging out with my brother and helping him fix up his car. We're a bit sore from yesterday, perhaps that's because we were working with limited tools (Normally you would use a vertical lift for work on the fuel pump/tank/filter, whereas we were using two small jacks.) Unlike mine, though, he's just making modifications. This shouldn't be an all day thing (or at least we hope), but I intend to have a bit more fun than yesterday's challenge.
Now Playing - "The Streets - Same Old Thing"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 9:24 AM
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Saturday, February 28, 2004
Fixin' the POS-NOS
Well I've dedicated today to finding out how to fix my van, the infamous POS-NOS. Last Thursday it had broken down as I was dropping Sean off at his house. I've been immobile ever since. So, in hopes to fix my van, we're gonna replace the fuel pump because it seems like the engine hasn't been receiving a good flow of fuel while I'm driving.
My brother, Len (my step-dad), and I are going to be working together to get this done as soon as possible. We aren't you're average grease monkeys either, so whether or not we're gonna do this the "right" way is up to speculation. Hopefully we won't run into any problems, but perhaps it would be too easy if things worked out like you plan them.
Wish me luck.
Now Playing - "Anberlin - Ready Fuels"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 11:05 AM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Romanticism
For the past 3 weeks, my English class has been reviewing poem upon poem derived from the Romantic Period. The Romantic Period began when two young poets, William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, were trying to raise money for a trip to Germany. They had compiled some poems and sold them to gain revenue, and, out of the work the two compiled, the Lyrical Ballads gained so much popularity that it began the Romantic Period. Perhaps people were so inspired by the words on the papers that the two poets wrote that others began to write their own.
Whatever the case, I am in the middle of a huge assignment that requires me to assemble one poem from 6 of the famous Romanticists, and 4 other various poems from random published poets. Then I need to write a review of what I think each poem is trying to tell its audience.
So I'm really wrapped up in all of this stuff. It's due in two days, and I'm only halfway done.
Now Playing - "(Chrono Trigger)OC Remix - Children of the Monkey Machine - Ruined World"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 7:24 PM
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Saturday, February 21, 2004
Holding on to the past
I haven't posted for what seems an eternity, but alas, I am posting now.
And as I'm typing this up, I'm thinking of something to write, something to be of inspiration to all of you. Yet nothing is coming to mind. I'm sitting here, coughing up a lung, in a room that requires cleaning (again).
In the last month I've been searching through my archives and reading previous posts. After reading a few, I discovered how many good pieces of advice I give out and how little I follow them. For instance, my post a long while ago titled Archive Digging and its explanation of looking back to the past. I have fallen into dwelling on the past, constantly looking it over, thinking of things I should have done differently that might make things better for me now. Despite my belief that everything happens for a reason, I can't help but think that something should be different right now. My life has become unbalanced and chaotic. My mind has run rampant on things of the past, clinging onto it, giving no hint of letting go. Sometimes I wish I could just forget everything, move on without bearing such a heavy burden on my heart, but that's not what I really want. It is the second-best choice. Perhaps I want to let go because I am becoming desperate. I have seen no signs of improvement. It's all a matter of time. Can I hold out for long enough, or have I already exhausted my efforts?
Now Playing - "Nobuo Uematsu - Find Your Way"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 9:50 AM
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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
"Mac Kills My Inner Child"
Yes, folks, the Macintosh ruined my day right from the start. How can I blame the misfortunes of one day on a Macintosh? Because anyone who's ever worked on a Macintosh knows how frustrating it can be to work on it. Hunter Cressen explains my frustrations with the Macintosh that I had today. Mainly the fact that I lost everything I worked on today in my class in a matter of seconds because iMovie 4.0 decided it no longer needed to function properly.
The upside to this movie assignment is that after we turn it in, we have a week to write a review on iMovie 4.0 and rate it as a product. I can't wait to take potshots at such a horrid atrocity that tries to call itself decent software.
I almost stood up in the middle of class to ask my teacher, "Could I work on a real computer, please?" once I saw that the system had crashed the second time today.
And the only thought I had once I saw the error notice that followed after the unexpected shutdown of iMovie 4.0 was...
...bodagem.
Now Playing - "Tourniquet - Pecking Order"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 5:04 PM
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Monday, February 09, 2004
Still Here
I apologize for my lack of posting, but to be honest with all of you, I haven't really had anything to post about. Things are pretty much the same right now.
I'm still looking for a job. I've looked up a few places, and seeing as how most want to pay as little as possible and still get all the gruntwork, I'm trying to find one that will pay me for what I do.
Ahh...the infamous Valentine's Day is coming up. Normally, I would dread its arrival, but perhaps this year might be different. In my mind, Valentine's Day was just another reminder of how alone I really am, so I usually just hide away and try to keep to myself as much as possible. This year, I might try and do something...but I'm still deciding.
I'll try posting something with a bit more interest in it next time, but for today, I'm just letting you know that I'm still alive.
Now Playing - "Tourniquet - Oh Well"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 4:38 PM
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Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Check please
Well last night was just as I suspected. Just another verbal bashing by my parents, and the loss of my job. Of course I'll be able to work for a short time so I can have time to search for a job. It would've been nice if my parents would have been encouraging or supportive after telling me I'm out of a job, but no it's not enough to chew me out for work, let's dig up all my other flaws while we're at it! So I had to sit through an hour of my parent's telling me how much of a failure I am and how I haven't met their expectations. It upset me to hear that my parents didn't have much faith in me and that they really didn't know me all that well. I didn't believe all their garbage about how I'm not meeting their expectations because I know I will make it. If not by their help, then by God, I will make it. When I make it out alright, I'll come back and tell them that they were wrong.
It really amazed me to see my parents go on such a power trip, telling me that I was the one who wasn't trying to fix my problems and how I was taking them for granted. At this point I realized that my parents have their illusions that they are more flawless than I, so I didn't argue them or try to talk some sense into them. I simply told them that everyone plays their part in this tragedy called a family.
And so just add up another problem to solve on top of all the others. I don't have the slightest clue to when I'll be able to find resolve to any of them, but I sure hope its soon. It just feels like an emotional attack all this past month. I want to get away from it. Make it all go away.
Surprisingly enough, I was in a good mood today. I looked online for jobs and found two possibilities that I might look in to. Hopefully something decent will pop up. Gonna go check with the school's career advisor for any possible jobs they might know about. Wish me luck.
Now Playing - "E-Type - Will I See You Again"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:17 PM
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Monday, February 02, 2004
Here comes the welcome wagon
I had a good time at Winterfest. More or less. I went and just wanted to get rid of some of the frustrations of my life. Some of which, I am still in the midst of dealing with. So when I got home, I wasn't exactly happy, just still figuring things out. Apparently that's not allowed...
For instance, my job working for my step-dad. Anybody will tell you that working for family blows, but it's hard to get out of the job to find another one. So today I only worked for 2 hours stocking up our product. Yeah, its not a long time, but when a job's done, it's done. I checked everything else and nothing needed to be stocked up so I clocked out. I ran out and did a few errands: going to the bank, putting gas in the car, etc., got home and did some writing. My mom got home and Len decided to take a break from working to eat dinner. We all started preparing dinner and so when I finished cooking mine, I went out to go watch some TV. After a few moments, I could overhear Len complaining about me and my "work habits" to my mom. I was a bit upset, so I walked back to the kitchen as if I forgot something. Grabbed a glass of water and stated that I really didn't like it when he talked about problems he had with me behind my back. I told him that if he had a problem, he should bring it up to me.
Sidenote: Why is it that whenever somebody has a problem with another, they talk to someone else about it? Why can't they talk to the person they have the problem with? How can the other person fix their problem if they don't even know there's a problem to begin with.
So after that, he got all pissed and started saying that I'm not working long enough. I simply said back that I have to have something to work on if he wants me to work more hours. He tells me that I should "overstock" if I have nothing left to do. Problem is, you have to have somewhere to put all this extra stock and if you knew where I worked, there is no such thing as extra space. Then there's the problem with my co-worker always antagonizing me and giving me crap. When I brought this to Len's attention he said that "Yeah, you have to put up with it cause he and I make this company run!", which translates into "you're not important enough to get common respect." At this point in the conversation I decided to give up on trying to be reasonable and walked out. During this we exchanged attacks and now I am in my room typing this up.
I've been thinking about getting a new job for awhile now. Keeping an eye out for jobs, but I haven't really found anything. I'll be looking a bit harder the next few days because I have decided that the job I have isn't worth the crap and stress that it gives me. I'd rather work at a job where it's a bit more structured and has a better respect for its employees.
Tonight I'll be "negotiating my surrender" to Len because there's no way that I could get a reasonable talk out of him. He's far too arrogant for such a thing. But that's how it is with parents most of the time. You respect them, try to be reasonable, they repay you by taking advantage of it and go on a power trip because they're the parents and you're the kid who doesn't know anything.
So all of you who read here, please keep me in your prayers. I need a new job. I need to come out of tonight's predestined argument without losing any ground.
What I would give if my family were run more like a family than a business.
Now Playing - "the abbott experience - Take You For Granted"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:31 PM
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All writings, poems, and rants are Copyright © Ryan Bach. If you want to use my writings, contact me first!
