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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Reality hits hard...
When you realize that your not a kid anymore. Sure you can still act like a kid, but you still have to take care of the responsibilities that come with age. This summer is my last "free" summer, and but I'm having to limit how lazy I can be. I have to finish my application (because I'm a lazy bastard who hates paperwork), run it down to the store in hopes that they're even accepting applications, do some work for my mother because I'm poor, and clean my room.
In all honesty, I wish I could just vegge out and do whatever, but I'm no longer of age to do so. I've gotta jumpstart my life and get a move on.
No more "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll get to it later", I have to get my rear in gear and quit being so damned lazy.
Now Playing - "(Secret Of Mana)OC Remix - Thumper - Wandering the Wild Forest"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:36 AM
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Friday, June 25, 2004
Stickshifts and safetybelts
Wow, that was some good sleep. It's almost like I'm forgetting the lack of sleep I had when school was still in session. Now I can actually sleep in to a decent hour.
So today's gameplan is pretty simple. I get to drive a car with a manual transmission for the first time today because I'm going to need the skill by September. I'm dumping the old POS-NOS (I'll miss ya, I really will!) and I'll be using my dad's Isuzu Rodeo by the time September comes around. My dad's planning on getting one of those new Jeep Wranglers and he wants me to have a car that will allow me to come visit him up in Kernville when he moves, so I'm pretty much inheriting it.
I'm thrilled to have a car that has some "Umph!" to it, but I'm really hoping I can be coordinated enough to drive a stick. The whole clutch pedal thing is probably what's gonna throw me off the most, but my dad says its not hard at all. Course he's been driving a stick since his first car years ago.
After that, I'm pretty much doing my own thing until I pick up Jesse at her work at 6. Tonight's the esteemed "Family Night", and so we'll be suffering together throughout the night. We have lots of fun, it's just that family nights are always known for their disgusting, awkward, upsetting, funky, emotionally abrasive, and mentally tormenting moments.
Now Playing - "countours - the naked truth"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:27 AM
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
If its not fixed, don't break it.
It seems like everything just doesn't want to work right now. Nothing major, but still annoying.
I was trying to get the comments HTML code to work last night but javascript kept screwing up with this "NoRouteToHost" error, so I just wrote the code in notepad and left it minimized. Only problem was that my mom decided to blow a circuit in the house and my computer lost power...making me have to figure out everything again. No real big deal, but as you can see, they are up and running right now. Please post your thoughts and use the comments link!
Last night I had Jesse over and we were going to go into the jacuzzi, but when we went to test the water it was a nice 60 degrees. I turned it's motor on, but after about a half hour, it was still cold. So we shot down that idea and decided to watch a movie. We grabbed Manhunter and went up to my room. I put it in and surprisingly found out the movie to be in complete black and white. I thought at first it was weird, but then it could make the movie a bit more interesting. I found out later when Len came up that the movie was, in fact, a full color movie. I then immediately thought of when my brother asked to borrow my RCA cables from my surround sound and figured he wired the TV up incorrectly when he put 'em back.
So today I'm pretty much working on everything that isn't working right. Hopefully the heater on the jacuzzi didn't burn out cause that would ultimately suck royal butt monkeys. I'm sure I can figure out my TV in a jiff, but I'm mainly worried about the jacuzzi...
Now Playing - "Five Iron Frenzy - Plan B"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 1:57 PM
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Monday, June 21, 2004
Brought to you by the number: 3
I was thinking about just integrating this post with the previous, and yet because this one would be a bit more serious, I decided against it. Three times the charm, neh?
In the past weeks I've noticed how much I yearn to spend time with Jesse. Not trying to be mushy-like or anything, but I go throughout each day counting down the time, wishing I'd see her sooner. From the moment I wake to the moment just before my eyes look upon her, I'm thinking about her and how much I want to be there with her.
And when her and I do get to spend time together, time slows down and I'm completely happy with life. We've literally spend almost every night together in the past two weeks. And every night that I have to say "Goodnight", I wish that I didn't have to go. My heart misses her instantly, and so it looks forward to the next time I'll see her.
Since the day we met, we've been attracted to each other, we've enjoyed each other's company, and we've never been happier. I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with this woman that God has set in my life.
Oh, and for once in a long time, my poems are actually positive. I've actually been able to write something with a lighter feeling to it rather than the normal doom and gloom. I think I'm going nuts, but I love it.
Now Playing - "The Shivers - Gentle"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 9:15 AM
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Three dollar bargain
Last night I picked Jesse, her sister Becky, and her neighbor Alecia up from the 99 Cent store and I couldn't stop myself when I saw a rack of CD's just sitting there with a fat ninety-nine cent sign on 'em. Sure the music wasn't popular and I didn't know any of the bands on display, but I'm always up for new music. While I was browsing through the rack, I picked out three CD's that looked promising.
contours - Where There's Smoke
The Shivers - The Shivers
Smash Mouth - The East Bay Sessions
So far I'm pretty satisfied with the music. I'm liking the folkish/country style of The Shivers. Contours is some nice and smooth rythmic music. And well Smash Mouth is Smash Mouth. The same old punk/ska band we all know and sometimes love.
Now Playing - "The Shivers - Never Leave Nevada"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:50 AM
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Still waiting for it to occur to me...
...that summer is actually here. I'm still stuck in that state of mind that I actually have to get up for school tomorrow morning. And yet school is finished and really isn't a concern of mine until college starts up in the fall. Still hard to believe that I'm actually here, so I guess I should enjoy being in the confused state while I still can.
And while I may no longer have school, I still have to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow morning to take my grandpa to one pool. I don't know why I chose to do it so early in the morning, maybe I'm insane, or maybe I end up being in a better mood later on in the day when I wake up early. Plus I get to enjoy a fuller day, rather than sleeping most of it away. I suppose its a good habit to get into.
And while I'm driving my grandpa around, there's gonna be one thing on my mind.
Yeah...she keeps me smiling!
Now Playing - "contours - On a Lark"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 12:15 AM
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Thursday, June 17, 2004
Longer than expected
Normally I'd re-edit the previous post and make you think that I actually came back to finish it up, but since it's been a week I really don't think there's any chance of fooling anyone. Not even myself. It has, in fact, been about a week since I've been able to sit down at my computer, so don't think you're the only one missing out. Here we go.
So yeah, I had to drive back home last Friday and pick up my Cartooning books because Len couldn't find 'em. I came back turned in my books and got my clearance card turned in. I went to go receive my cap and gown and found out that I missed out on the esteemed 3.0 White Tassel by .06% and I wasn't really happy with that fact. The day was pretty easy and laid back. Mainly filled with yearbook signing, talking to friends, and other such activities. I was glad it was over by the end of the day.
I spent the weekend with Jesse and most of the week as well. Graduation was yesterday and it had its rememberances, but most of my memories lie in what happened after it. Seeing family, and Jesse, and friends, and Jesse, and everyone happy, and Jesse...yeah.
And today I've spent most of the day riding to LA with my brother in his new car to go pick up some prints he had done. I got home and showed him my portfolio I had done in my DI class, and now I'm sitting here typing this.
Tonight, Will, Sabrina, Jesse, and I will be going to the movies after church to go see Saved!. It should be a lot of fun. I'm pretty excited about it!
And this was written in Notepad...and I can see why that's annoying now that I'm doing it.
Now Playing - "Modest Mouse - Gravity Rides Everything"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 3:56 PM
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Friday, June 11, 2004
The last day
That's right, it's the last day of "required" schooling. And yet, it feels like any other day. As if I woke up to go to a normal day of school, knowing it'll always be there for me the next week. Yet, here I am, realizing, that it's finally over...that is, until college.
Because I'm lost in that illusion, I have forgotten to grab my books for cartooning. Not entirely my fault cause I barely remember we have one for that class. I gotta take care of this...I'll write later.
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:48 AM
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Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Alarmingly Refreshing
I really didn't want to get up this morning. I looked at the clock when I awoke and though I was too happy with the numbers that were lit up in it, I really felt like it didn't matter. True senioritis moment, I guess. So I finally got myself out of bed, ready, and out the door in 10 minutes and headed down to school. And that's when I realized I was having a problem walking straight, the bags under my eyes couldn't be more noticeable, and that I was tired to the bone.
Perhaps that's cause I was up til 2 last night working on my ABC notebook thing, but don't let that be misleading. Jesse and I were swimming and hanging out in the jacuzzi from 8 til 11:30, but I really needed the relaxation, and that was definately relaxing. I took her home when it was getting late and came back to print out my ABC notebook. I'm not so sure how it took me so long to do it, but I think it had to do with setting up each page a certain way.
By 2'o'clock I could barely see straight, and I collapsed onto my bed. No dreams, no nothing, just pure sleep, that is, until Len was screaming at me for not waking up after my alarm had been going off for about an hour. That's another thing that bugs the crap out of me....my alarm sucks. When I first got the alarm, it was nice cause it was so bloody annoying that I would get up out of bed just to turn it off. However, after a few months of owning it, I began to hear it in my dreams, sleep through it, but be so irritated in my dreams cause I couldn't figure out what the annoying sound was that I'd wake up and slam my hand on the snooze button. But now I don't even get that....I just sleep through the whole thing.
But I do feel better today, a sort of refreshment of the body, mind, and spirit. Though I may not physically be able to do much today, I just feel more at ease altogether.
[/ramblez]
Now Playing - "Cowboy Bebop - What Planet Is This?"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:33 AM
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Friday, June 04, 2004
Past and present tense
How is it that huge amounts of time spent can be washed away in the course of one event? How can lifelong friendships die after one act of treason? How can life change so dramatically in one instant?
It's a known fact that things change daily. Be it emotions, friendships, or your own life, things will always be different with each passing day. They can either progress or deteriorate. Yet, how is it after so many years of progress in a friendship that in one act of anger towards each other, they break apart never to be seen again? How is it that so many years can be thrown away in minutes?
Personally, I believe that no friendship should be dropped so lightly, but there are times when it has to be done. When the relationship is no longer mutual, technically the friendship was lost over time, but we all seem so surprised when the other is caught in the act of betrayal. We wonder how they could possibly do such a thing when we've been so good to them. And the friendship is usually lost, unless immediate action is taken. Sometimes they are to be revived at a later date, sometimes not.
Is this our fault, those who have lost friends who betrayed them, is it us that the problem lies within? No, absolutely not. For whatever reason, they leave. For their own reasons, they have chosen to do what they did. Sooner or later they will realize what a wonderful friend they have left behind. Some will come back with this realization, others won't figure it out til it's too late. So we must go on strong, keep them in our prayers, hope they find whatever they're searching for, and hope that they return.
In so many instances it seems like its so jacked up how people treat you when you give everything for them. It can wear down on your soul and you can become very irritated with the situation. But the best you can do is look to God for strength and hang in there. It seems so hopeless sometimes, but know that God holds you in His hands and he knows that it's gonna work out for the best for you.
Now Playing - "Blind Melon - Change"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:32 AM
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Thursday, June 03, 2004
I hear the whistle blowin'
And so now I continue on with my projects now that I'm back from church. We had one of our leader's bands play tonight and it was really cool. They played, then we heard a message, and pretty much chilled for awhile after church. It was a pretty cool night.
Item number one on the list is the book report. Due tomorrow and its gotta be at least 2 and half pages long. Nothing to fret over, especially since I already got a headstart on it. I just need to kick my butt into gear and get it written.
And so I'm sitting here writing this when I should be writing my report. But writing a book analysis takes the fun out of writing. No room for personal thought, just facts.
Now Playing - "Michelle Branch - Everywhere"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 9:51 PM
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DOMO KUN RARR
THANK YOU FOR THREE THOU SAND HITS ON THE BLOG!
I miss vandalizing other people's blogs. :D
Posted by Sean .xXx. 1:58 PM
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End projects
Well I unexpectedly had my last quiz on 1984 yesterday and I must say I scored a glorious 2 of 10. I got the first two questions right by chance and the others, well yeah, I hadn't read that part of the book yet. No big deal, I can always turn in a decent book report. I have to do my alphabet book tonight so I'll be working on that when I get home tonight.
My touch-tone telephone college registration appointment was last night and I had totally missed it. Oh well, I guess I can do it tonight once I go online and check the schedules. My brother was telling me to take an important class, but I know I'm going to be gone for a week in August so that may not be such a grand idea. I dunno.
I went and picked up Jesse from the preschool, which seems to be the pattern for Wednesdays, and took her home where we had dinner. Jesse then gave me the dreamcatcher that she spent 5 hours making for me. It was so AWESOME! It was tan with white and greenish teal feathers and beads. Very very pretty. She made the whole thing herself, from the netting to the beads and feathers. She put it all together for me, and I have never felt more special. I've really never gotten a gift like that.
(I was waiting for a phone call from Tony, my cell group leader, about directions to the youth group in Anaheim we were going to, but maybe I was the one who was supposed to make the call?) So I stayed over at Jesse's til about 8:30, then said my goodbyes and went home.
I brought my dreamcatcher home, showed my mom, and then proceeded to hang it on my wall beside my bed. It looks so nice on my wall.
So not a whole lot on today's agenda other than finishing up my book report and doing the Gov't Alphabet book. Oh, I NEED to get my community service hours signed....so....maybe there are a few things I need to take care of after all. Projects out the wazoo. Oive'.
Oh, it seems that I've gotten 3000 hits! Thanks for reading, everyone!
Now Playing - "Creedence Clearwater Revival - Proud Mary"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:32 AM
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Wednesday, June 02, 2004
It's a nice day
Today has started off pretty nicely as I was able to wake up early enough to make some coffee and grab something to eat before I went off to school. As I was walking to school I was talking to Chelsea about how FHVS is going downhill with each new year. Then I walked over to talk to Jer only to find that he and I are wearing the same "Sanctuary" shirt and jeans outfit. This has happened on such an often basis, that it's kinda freaky. We even saw Lisa wearing the shirt and jeans, too. So that was the oddity of the day.
Cartooning class was good today as I completely avoided redrawing my final drawing by just cutting it out of my sketch book, saving me about a day of making the second drawing look like the first. I even got to inking the cartoon.
And now I'm sitting in my Digital Imaging class where I was just handed my final project, the digital portfolio. I've been waiting to get it back for about 4 school days now. Now I'll be able to take my artwork home and onto a real computer where they can be color corrected if need be. The iMac that I'm on is old and decrepid has less processing power than the dinosaurs of old. The monitor's screwed up in that the colors are off by at least 10 shades.
Oh, my girlfriend Jesse made me a dreamcatcher last night. She's gonna give it to me when I pick her up from work today. I'm so excited to see it!
Anyways, I really have nothing to talk about other than the fact that I'll be sitting in my classes today with absolutely nothing to do. Perhaps I should get to reading 1984 since I have a test on it on Friday. Which is kinda redundant cause the teacher's making us skip half the book. Oh well, I better get to it.
Now Playing - "Weird Al Yankovic - Albuquerque"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:30 AM
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
The human body tells no time
It's been one of the most wonderful weekends I've ever had and what would seem never-ending has thus gone away. Time seemed to slowly pass by as I was involved in so much these past 3 days. And apparently, losing time was more of a problem than I had thought.
All this in a quick little paragraph.
On Friday night, Jesse and I went to my "emotionally abrasive" family night and embraced the criticism. Saturday, we went to meet my dad for lunch. She seemed to enjoy that a whole lot more, probably because she got to look at pictures of my early childhood. We went shopping and then watched movies that evening, which was a very relaxing point of the weekend. Sunday after church, Jesse and I went to go hang with Jeremy and Jen on a "double date" swimming shindig. Then Jesse took me to Don Jose's to go have some mexican food together for our first week anniversary. Then I took her to the park and we walked around the lake and sat down to chat and enjoy each other's company. Monday, Jesse and I went to hang out with Sabrina and Will at their Memorial BBQ, which was really fun. I ended up being late coming home from that last night, and for the next two weeks....I won't be making that type of mistake any longer.
Words cannot express how wonderful this weekend has been, let alone the past two weeks! Ever since I met Jesse, she has brought me so much happiness and joy! Life has changed for me as I have something to look forward to each day. I have a wonderful girl to share time with and give happiness to as she returns it. It's the most satisfying feeling to feel loved by someone else while expressing it to them.
And then my parents decided to be "time anal" for the first time in like 4 months these past two weeks.
I showed up late Sunday night as I was an hour late. We had been at the park and so there was no real clock out there other than biologically. Her and I were just enjoying time together and lost track of time, then realized that we had been out a little too long (which ended up only being 15 minutes after I was supposed to be home), but it took awhile to walk back to the car and drive her back home. I got a talk for a awhile from my parents and then I went to bed. Last night I came home at 11:30 (no set curfew that night) and my parents nearly had a heart attack. We were having fun, and I didn't really think time would matter. It was Memorial Day, a holiday. Why would I expect to be home early? So my parents claimed there was a curfew in place at the time that I had to be home at 10:00 on a school night. So we argued til 12:00AM and then i went to bed quite upset while admitting defeat at attempting reasonable debate. I now abide by curfew for the rest of the school year. Yippee.
Now Playing - "The Streets - Turn The Page"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:46 AM
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All writings, poems, and rants are Copyright © Ryan Bach. If you want to use my writings, contact me first!
