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Friday, January 28, 2005
Stuck...no rock, no hard place, just stuck
You ever have those moments where you think things are going to work out for awhile, then something else happens and screws it over? I barely make money as it is and I have to pay my step-dad off for cell-phone overages (his company pays for it, yet he's been counting money that I owe him since day one). I thought I'd be ok after that, but this morning I scratched up the front of my car a bit because some trash truck decided it wanted to block the drive thru lane at Del Taco. So, being the stubborn moron that I am, I decided I could just make a sharper turn into the lane to avoid the truck. Apparently I didn't make the turn soon enough and I scraped the wall for a second. I backed out, then made the turn thinking of what a wonderful mark might be left behind. So now I've gotta spring money for some touch-up paint so that my parents don't freak out. God know's they'll freak if I have a scratch on the car, but I've been driving for over a year now and I haven't had any problems like this.
On top of that, my parents (er, my step-dad) informed me that I'll be paying for insurance soon. Which I think is awesome, I need to get up on my feet and all, but there's no chance in hell that I'm going to make enough money to leave the house now. California's too expensive to start out with no cash, or no hefty check from the parents, which, in this case, isn't going to happen. My brother got all the help, and now my parent's are leaving me out to dry. That is, until my sister-in-law has her baby. Then my mom will be so consumed in the whole "I'm a grandma" deal and forget about me for awhile.
And I know that I'm rambling on and on, but perhaps somebody out there knows what the hell I'm talking about.
Now Playing - "The World At Large"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:51 AM
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Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Insert Title Here
(Amongst the confusion from not being able to think of some wonderous title, I've come to the conclusion that not having one is just as cool.)
My body feels as if I were drugged out on Benedryl, or bogged down on some vicatin, so moving around today has been anything but. I really don't feel like moving, of course, that's nothing to say for my brain. Games seem like a good choice today, that is, after I kick myself into doing some laundry.
My room is actually clean (for the most part), and I'm really wondering how that happened. My mom's been nagging me lately about it, so I finally just got to it and made her happy. Of course, when I'm done, she could care less, which amuses me to think she would care in the first place. Maybe it's one of those jobs parent's have and do just to make their presence known to the household. Which brings me to another thought: why do parents act the way they do?
I'd say I speak for most of the youth out there who live under parents who have either lost their minds or are in the process. The usual claim is that us kids have cause their brains to lose capacity to think straight, which, of course, is no excuse at all. Thing is, if you're a parent raising a kid, you should enjoy the fact that you have a kid to raise, get over the small stuff, and use common sense when disciplining or when you're upset (Notice, I save the best one for last).
Lots of people out there aren't able to have a kid, and so that should make having one all the more enjoyable. It's a gift of life to be able to have children.
Parents, don't freak out over the small and stupid events that life throws at you! This is the number one reason why youth distance themselves from you. The small things in life aren't worth getting all worked up over. It's annoying when a parent will overreact and sentence their kid to a month in confinement for staying out late, missing dinner, etc. At the point of sentencing, the parent loses all common sense and ignores every reason their child provides.
Call it ignorance, call it stupid, or call it an absense of intelligence, whatever, parents lose common sense in situations dealing with with their child in discipline, or when you're just plain upset at them. Because children generally don't always conform to what their parents plan, there's lots of headbutting and conflict. And in that conflict, parents like to flaunt their omniscient, and all-magnificent power by showing that "I can punish you, but you can't punish me! Muahahahahaha!" attitude. Believe me, it shows. I've explained myself in many situations with my parents, and every time, no matter how plausible my reason may be, there's always this feeling that no matter how much I did the right thing, because I didn't do exactly what they wanted, I'm getting punished. They ignore my explanation alltogether and get right to the punishment (almost seemingly with anticipation). The fact is, parents don't like to be wrong, and if their going to go through the trouble and talk it out, they figure they might as well punish their child while they're, no matter how wrong they are in doing so.
Why am I ranting on parents and their ignorance? I dunno, it's probably something that I've always wanted to talk about, but never really got to writing.
Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong. The comment button is below!
Now Playing - "MC Chris - White Kids Love Hip Hop"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 8:46 AM
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Monday, January 03, 2005
Hard times, peace times, and the men and women involved
I had thought that it would be somewhat of a chore when I heard that I was the one who would drive my grandfather to the Veteran's Association Hospital last night, but from the moment I picked up my grandfather to take him, I had this sense of enjoyment out of it. Something rarely found, at least for my mother. Helping out grandpa always seemed like a big problem to my mom, but I found some fun in it, and kept an attitude of contentment.
As we pulled up into the parking lot and walked inside, I saw a man being taken somewhere for treatment on his bed. The look on his face was blank as the nurse next to him was telling a story. His eyes would move in her direction every once in awhile, but the look on his face said he wasn't listening, or he just wasn't understanding the words coming from her mouth. We continued forward, my grandpa pointing where we would need to wait in line. The door we waited out was in a hallway connected to a room with rows of chairs, two TV's hanging from the cieling, and a connection to more hallways. The men sitting in the room looked very solemn and isolated. It was as if they were contemplating some huge theory of how the world works and kept to themselves as they figured it out. Each man I looked at had some story behind him. Their stories would probably never be written down on paper, but I had such a fascination with the idea that these men had a story to tell.
We stood next to an elder man, his age was showing vividly, but his spirit was young. He talked as if his life was just beginning. He was fairly passive in speech, and his face was relaxed, his wrinkles showing amongst his grin. Either this man didn't see much of a war, or he had gotten over it with overwhelming success. As my grandpa talked to him, he enjoyed being talked to, but began to space himself after a few minutes, an effect my grandpa involuntarily has on people. We walked over to pick up my grandpa's medicine and I saw another man, standing in jeans and a leather jacket. His gray hair was groomed back, and when my grandpa commented on how quick we got the medicine, the man turned around and stated, "That's cause the other's chickened out...didn't want to drive in the rain. Heh heh!" His cocky nature gave me an idea of who he was in the war. It had toughened him up, and because he survived his war, felt he could survive anything. We picked up the medicine, and walked back to my car. As we walked back, I saw a man walking my way, glaring right into my eyes. I noticed a hole in his neck, yet didn't look directly to avoid being rude. He gave me such a harsh look, continued walking passed me, but never letting his eyes off me. I still wonder why he did that, but perhaps seeing me had triggered some memory of his. The engine to my car roared as I turned the ignition, then we were off. The drive back to my grandpa's house was short, but in that time, I began to think of all the men and women involved in some war and how it may have affected them, and what stories they have because of it.
Now Playing - "Modest Mouse - Dark Center Of The Universe"
Posted by Ryan Bach .xXx. 10:05 AM
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All writings, poems, and rants are Copyright © Ryan Bach. If you want to use my writings, contact me first!
